Meh, the midterm election. 😐 What’s the big deal? It happens every couple of years. At the risk of sounding like a party pooper of epic proportions, here is a list of the top 10 reasons – yes, you get a double bonus helping on this one! – to NOT vote in the midterm election. 🚫
Top Ten Reasons Not To Vote
- 😕🙃I want to show up to Thanksgiving as ignorant as possible so Uncle Bob can ask me a thousand questions I can’t answer.
- 📱#️⃣I hate being informed when I post scathing messages on social media. Where’s the fun in that? Besides, comment-section wars are more fun when you’re shooting in the dark!
- 🦥I genuinely love complaining about things after it’s too late to do something about it. It’s very satisfying to know that I was too lazy to contribute to a good solution.
- 👎I’m protesting the right for undocumented workers to vote by not voting myself. If they don’t get to, then why should I? Also, I lost my driver’s license last week. Or maybe I’m dead. Either way, WHY DO YOU HATE DEAD AND UNDOCUMENTED PEOPLE?
- 👴👵The polling place smells like old people. I just can’t handle that. I mean, how can I be expected to endure such difficulty?
- 🦅I love seeing the national debt soar like a majestic eagle! Damn, that bird looks amazing…look at it getting really high up there…
- 📺The TV commercials this time of year are really annoying so I’m just going to ignore everything about the election and binge watch the entire Minions saga on Netflix.
- 👻I’m allergic to the adhesive found on the back of the “I VOTED!” stickers. Seriously, I’ll blow up like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man if I get near that stuff. Oh hey, I should also watch Ghostbusters on Netflix!
- 🐻I love Russians, and want them in charge of our country. They really know how to run a free economy.
- 🧾💸I absolutely LOVE everything about the current government! Frankly, I wouldn’t change a thing about the hyper-inflation, increasing taxes, wokey-wokey schools, skyrocketing murder and arson, rampant immigration, or the insanely long lines at the local DMV. Who would?!
🔥Bottom line: So there you go! I’m sure you can come up with a few reasons of your own to avoid voting 🗳️ in this midterm, but if you need to borrow some of mine, go for it! You’re welcome. 😎
Guess what? The President isn't a good reason not to vote because he's not on the ballot...but YOUR local & state government reps are! Here’s three small things you can do that make a BIG impact:
